The Dark Knight Rises

Unranked at time of writing.

Wow. I have a massively high opinion of the previous two instalments of this trilogy, and this is easily their match. You have to admire the scale of Christopher Nolan's ambition and his uncanny ability to pull it off.

Granted, it's a bit expositiony at times, but the bad guy's ruthless build-up to power reaches such an intensity that you're glued to the screen. The story reaches a point where you cannot imagine the good guys ever recovering - and then it gets even worse... and then the blood-curdling villain Bane really gets going.

Top off that drama with some wonderful twists (so unexpected, yet so fitting), a couple of charismatic female leads, and a bevy of breathtaking and immaculately crafted set pieces, and you have pure blockbuster cinema at its very best. I wonder how this will stand up to a second viewing given that the twists will no longer be a surprise - but if the previous two instalments are anything to go by it will just keep getting better.

Chris Nolan has said that there will not be a fourth film. I'm sure there will. The question is simply whether the franchise will degenerate into second-rate spin-off sequels (or be annoyingly re-re-booted like Spider-Man and Superman), or he takes the helm himself.

As soon as the Dark Knight trilogy is released on DVD, I'm buying.

X-Men: First Class

#234 at time of writing.

This film inspires in me such mediocre praise as "entertaining, but...", "bit of a cash-in", and "well, the trailers were fun". Even the posters are lacklustre.

The Noughties was great for superhero movies, but with cheesy action-over-substance sequels like this competing against half-baked efforts like Green Lantern, perhaps they've had their day for now.

This is the story of how the X-Men first came together; it hijacks the events of the Cuban Missile Crisis as a backdrop. I'm sure I would have enjoyed this origins story more if I knew more of the X-Men universe, but as a stand-alone film it doesn't compare to the epic genius of the rebooted Batman films or Watchmen, nor to the charismatic wit of Iron Man or Kick-Ass.

Fun, but I predict this will have fallen off the Top 250 before you can say "when's the next X-Men sequel?"

According to IMDb trivia, the filmmakers hired an X-Men specialist to help the cast understand their roles. Coolest job title ever?

Memento

#27 at time of writing.

After watching Memento at the cinema I left with my head spinning... I love films that do that. If you like twists, this is the twistiest.

Leonard (Guy Pearce) is determined to find his wife’s killer. However, the attack left him suffering from a type of amnesia whereby he can no longer store new memories. He can remember events before the attack, but not what happened fifteen minutes ago. Therefore, he relies on a system of notes, photos and tattoos on his body to record information about himself and others. This unique thriller unfolds in two separate narratives, one in chronological order and one in reverse, so the audience experiences the same disorientation as Leonard.

I have heard it argued that this backwards storytelling is a gimmick that could have been applied to any film (and indeed there are other films that use reverse chronology - see Betrayal and Irréversible). Certainly, this kind of storytelling could come easily to a director who is used to filming things out of sequence. Perhaps that's true, but Memento transcends gimmickry. The story could not have been told better any other way.

With this and the Batman films under his belt, director Chris Nolan is shaping up to be an all-time great, even if he does look uncannily like Harry Enfield.

The Dark Knight

#5 at time of writing.

I've seen The Dark Knight twice - once at the UK premiere, and once at the excellent Roxy Bar and Screen on Borough High Street. Both times, I was on the edge of my seat with anxiety for the full two and a half hours. This is no mere superhero movie – it is an epic crime drama of remarkable complexity and substance, tackling sweeping themes of retribution and sacrifice.

Whether this film deserves to be scored as the fifth best film of all time - or even the #1 film as it was for a few weeks on IMDb - is moot, but it's hard to deny that it is an incredibly powerful cinematic experience. (It came out the same week as Wall·E - what a week that was for the silver screen!)



Heath Ledger’s untimely death in January 2008 ensured that the Hollywood hype machine would be in overdrive, but incredibly his performance - and the whole film - lives up to even the most excessive expectations.

Heath Ledger's apocalyptic performance is certainly Oscar-worthy. Compare the Joker to Ennis Del Mar from Brokeback Mountain and it's very hard to believe that they are the same person.

It’s not flawless. It's long, Bale’s Batman voice is sometimes over-the-top, and, well, it’s not Batman Begins. But the scale, tension and sheer dark depths of the characters will leave you in awe.

(A far cry from my opinion of Batman & Robin...)

Worst films of all time

I recently subjected myself to a second viewing of Batman & Robin. I have got drunk and set off a whole reel of film while the camera was still in my pocket before, and I enjoyed those photos more than I enjoyed this film.

It is not just an insult to the Batman franchise; it is not just an insult to the film industry; it is an insult to humanity. Why - how - do films like this get made?

It got me to thinking - what are the worst films of all time? I don't mean films that are so bad they're good (there was a film I saw on late-night TV in the early 90's called Eat and Run that I would put in that category - it was a no-budget film about an alien that descended to New York City and ate Italian people, leaving only their buttons behind). I mean terrible, agonising films.

It turns out that IMDb have a Bottom 100 list. Here are some of the highlights:

• #3 - From Justin to Kelly, starring the winners of American Idol. Fans of such shows deserve films like this.


• #7 - Anus Magillicutty - enough said.


• #15 - Son of the Mask, which goes to show you shouldn't make sloppy cash-in sequels of excellent 90's films.


• #23 - Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace, which goes to show you shouldn't make sloppy cash-in sequels of awful 90's films.


• #28 - Gigli - alongside films like Anaconda, Maid in Manhattan, and The Cell you'd think J-Lo would get the idea and STOP ACTING. Mercy killing, anyone?


• #34 - Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000, the Scientology manifesto that John Travolta lost millions of dollars on. Hee hee.



• #82 - Spice World and #89 Crossroads, further proof that musical performers should stick to music.


• #91 - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation - the producers obviously hadn't seen Street Fighter or Super Mario Bros., or they would have known that you shouldn't make a film based on a computer game.

Personally though, Batman & Robin takes the biscuit for me. That's $125,000,000 that would have been better spent even if it was used to paint the moon red. Holy marathon, Batman! F*** off!